Sickening hell of a day!

Had hell yesterday! I've always hated working there.. Now it gives me more reasons to hate work..

Last night, my station was extremely busy and yet the other stations were kind of free.. I don't mind if it is busy and there are only 2 people working in the station, what was making me burn is that no one from those "not so busy" stations came to help.. Actually I've worked busier days but something in me just break when I see no one helping us.. They were chit chatting..

me: "Wah.. my station is very busy.."

colleague: " Yah can see.."

me: o_O!! Then why didn't you come to help?

PUKE BLOOD!!!!

teamleader: "There are usually 2 persons at your station.. There are 3 people in Piazza.."

me: Yeah I know.. But none came to help.. (one came after I complained though..)

Puke out all my internal organs!!

I think I zhuo4 ren2 very shi1 bai4.. See the word colleague instead of friend? I never make any friends at work.. They are all just purely colleagues to me.. Whom only turn to me when they have problems but never let me into the details.. Like what's the use.. Tell me for what? Whom never let me into their fun.. Ok some tried, but I can't stay out late!!!! Sometimes I feel unwanted..

I think I'm getting extremely vulnerable.. Stupid thing happened yesterday.. Wished that it didn't happen.. Now everyone would think that I'm a weak and whiny person.. SHIT them all!!

Some people came afterwards to ask me what happened.. Hypocrites! F*K OFF!! I don't need your pity!

Lately, some of my colleagues always asked me why I looked so tired.. Wanna know why? I dread working there! A few asked my I'm always emotionless or I never smile. Wanna know why?? I wanna look cool! Rubbish! I don't find work any fun.. Never looked forward to work for any reason.. I only worked because I needed the money.. I used to work like an ant now I don't even bother about working so hard for the money.. As long as I have enough, it'll do.. At most I don't spend my money on Luxury!

There is a limit to everything.. I'm not going to point fingers now.. But I feel that most people there are very ugly.. The longer I stay the more I see their ugliness.. Sometimes, they make fun of people till the person is on the verge to cry but they never know when to stop.. Often going overboard.. Still laughing even their eyes are filled with tears.. They will get their retribution some day.. I also think they are very childish to play family in work.. Though they are having fun and who am I to have my say.. But come on lah! How old are you.. The last time I played that was Sec 1.. Someone acknowlegded me as their cousin? So which Aunt just gave birth?

I am actually back stabbing now! Lolx.. Don't care lah.. Who knows they may be backstabbing me anyway..

We were once close, I trusted this person so much when we were younger.. Even though I'm older, I always felt that this person is the older one.. Now thinking back, I felt very stupid for believing everything this person said.. Cause it sounded like lies now.. (I told my Mum and she said that trusting someone is not stupid..) People asked why we hardly talked.. There's just nothing to talk about.. Talking to this person means nothing.. I'm just reciprocating.. I once thought maybe working together would mean that we can get back to last time, but it was a foolish thought.. Something that can never happen.. What is past is the past.. No point looking back..

I think I'm really setting a time to quit.. Since I've given them the schedule that I will work on next week.. I'll be a responsible person and work till next week.. You can say that I'm petty.. But from now onwards, I will not help the other stations clear their tables.. I'll just be selfish.

Had a suggestion:

Slowly clear the plates in my station, "accidentally" break a few plates and take my time to clear those plates.. Evil huh? I might consider that.. =)

Sigh.. I'm just venting my frustration here!! You can call me whiny, petty and what not.. Sue me if you want! BUT I DON'T CARE!!

PS: My Dad said that being angry at someone or people is using their faults to make myself suffer.. Chim right? But it makes sense.. I won't talk about this issue anymore.. It just makes my heart boils!