LTB

So far school has been fine.. My LTB prof is an interesting prof, she mention that a group is different from a team. Let's hope that my LTB group will work towards becoming a team.. Really sad but I didn't have very nice impression of my groupmates on the first day we met. Their first impression of me is that I'm not local and I have a peaceful look? Funny way to describe me. Especially when most people felt that I was fierce and hard to approach when they first met me.. I've changed?

This is week 2 and I come to like some of them already.. One said I was cute.. Lolx.. Act cute you mean? Keke. I kind of like this group, it's actually the very first time I contribute so much in discussion.. I'm always afraid of what people might think of me if I give some stupid suggestions but in this group it feels alright to be stupid. lolx..

Anyway, we are supposed to do a conmunity service project together. I think we are abit behind time, most groups have already contacted their client.. Stress is definity building up as the days past. *Fingers crossed* Let's hope for the best..

Digression

Had a long break this afternoon. Just had lunch with my friends at Kopitiam again! Hate that place but no where to go.. Slacking around, waiting for the next lesson to start at 3.30pm.

All my profs seems really nice right now.. A nice beginning to a new term I guess..

Wah.. I wish the best for this year.. A new beginning, new friends, new profs, hopefully a new job.. Haha.. I'm whining everyday.. Getting kind of irritated by myself.. Sooner or later I will just dislike myself.. Hope to change a new environment, to be a new person..

I miss my old friends!! Can't wait for CNY to come, then we can meet up and visit each other.. I want to play banluck(correct spelling)!! It's been a long long time since I've played Mahjiong!! My hands are itchy!!..

Probably because of my previous post, I've offended some people.. But then I'm not the kind who will keep such feelings in my heart. I know that I'm blunt but this is me.. Don't like it? Then don't read.. =) I'm not sorry for what I posted, but maybe slightly sorry for making others upset.. However, if you can't take this side of me then don't befriend me.. I'll get upset initially but I'll learn to move on.. As I've said before long time ago, I never believe that friends are here to stay.. They come and go.. Leaving is always the sad part but it is part and parcle of life.. shi4 jie4 shang4 mei2 you3 bu4 san4 zi yan2 xi2.

Tomorrow is our 21st monthsary! Just 3 more months and we are together for 2 years.. Loving someone have never been so easy.. We were good friends before we turn couple and now we have proven to people that our relationship is strong.. 1 year plus may not be long but it's the longest relationship I'm in.. This is the very first relationship for him and he definitly did a great job at loving and caring for me. Even when I'm throwing a tantrum, he doesn't leave me alone.. Compromise is very important. Maybe because of him, I'm becoming very dependent on him.. I'm very vulnerable now, cry at little things which I wouldn't have done last time.. However I'm very lucky to have him..

I had been in relationship where the guy was a very very good friend of mine and we knew each other very well at least I thought I knew.. Anyway when the relationship progresses, it just turn for the worse.. I don't know why but I think that some relationship may be better if left as friendship instead. Don't you think so? There are good guy friends that I like a lot but it's just feels not right to progress even if he reciprocated.. Sometimes, loving someone doesn't mean you have to possess him.. If a guy have no plans for the future then what use is it to be together cause, being together would somehow mean having plans that involve the other in their future.. Chim mah?

If I have a boyfriend who is so full of himself and thinks that the girl should give in all the time, then perhaps the relationship is not worth the time.. It doesn't matter how much the girl is willing to give.. All giving and no recieving don't make out a good relationship. Of course there may be a party who gives more than the other but if one just gives in all the time, then what's the point in maintaining in a relationship? It doesn't matter whether the relationship is the first one or not.. So if you want a relationship to work, talking to the other party about your expectations and hearing his would definitely give you a direction of where the relationship is heading.. Checking where the problem lies and solving it together will probably strengthen the relationship.. However if one is not willing to coorporate then perhaps the relationship is a goner..

Opps type too much crap, but since i spent about 20 minutes on the paragraph might as well post it.. don't waste my effort right? ;)

FA

Yesterday morning had to get back to school for FA even though it was a holiday.. Such a spoiler! Spoilt my day.. Initially, I wanted to treat my family to have dim sum in the morning.. Too bad.. I've to postphone it..

Great! The prof asked those who had some accounting background to be group leaders.. I'm seperated from Belinder! Both of us are now group leaders.. I'm the only year 1 and business student in my group!! The rest are from Social science and IS management and all of them are year 2! What a day to start my school term.. Haha..

Hope that I'll have be in the same group with Belinda in the next class.. *Fingers crossed*

Sickening hell of a day!

Had hell yesterday! I've always hated working there.. Now it gives me more reasons to hate work..

Last night, my station was extremely busy and yet the other stations were kind of free.. I don't mind if it is busy and there are only 2 people working in the station, what was making me burn is that no one from those "not so busy" stations came to help.. Actually I've worked busier days but something in me just break when I see no one helping us.. They were chit chatting..

me: "Wah.. my station is very busy.."

colleague: " Yah can see.."

me: o_O!! Then why didn't you come to help?

PUKE BLOOD!!!!

teamleader: "There are usually 2 persons at your station.. There are 3 people in Piazza.."

me: Yeah I know.. But none came to help.. (one came after I complained though..)

Puke out all my internal organs!!

I think I zhuo4 ren2 very shi1 bai4.. See the word colleague instead of friend? I never make any friends at work.. They are all just purely colleagues to me.. Whom only turn to me when they have problems but never let me into the details.. Like what's the use.. Tell me for what? Whom never let me into their fun.. Ok some tried, but I can't stay out late!!!! Sometimes I feel unwanted..

I think I'm getting extremely vulnerable.. Stupid thing happened yesterday.. Wished that it didn't happen.. Now everyone would think that I'm a weak and whiny person.. SHIT them all!!

Some people came afterwards to ask me what happened.. Hypocrites! F*K OFF!! I don't need your pity!

Lately, some of my colleagues always asked me why I looked so tired.. Wanna know why? I dread working there! A few asked my I'm always emotionless or I never smile. Wanna know why?? I wanna look cool! Rubbish! I don't find work any fun.. Never looked forward to work for any reason.. I only worked because I needed the money.. I used to work like an ant now I don't even bother about working so hard for the money.. As long as I have enough, it'll do.. At most I don't spend my money on Luxury!

There is a limit to everything.. I'm not going to point fingers now.. But I feel that most people there are very ugly.. The longer I stay the more I see their ugliness.. Sometimes, they make fun of people till the person is on the verge to cry but they never know when to stop.. Often going overboard.. Still laughing even their eyes are filled with tears.. They will get their retribution some day.. I also think they are very childish to play family in work.. Though they are having fun and who am I to have my say.. But come on lah! How old are you.. The last time I played that was Sec 1.. Someone acknowlegded me as their cousin? So which Aunt just gave birth?

I am actually back stabbing now! Lolx.. Don't care lah.. Who knows they may be backstabbing me anyway..

We were once close, I trusted this person so much when we were younger.. Even though I'm older, I always felt that this person is the older one.. Now thinking back, I felt very stupid for believing everything this person said.. Cause it sounded like lies now.. (I told my Mum and she said that trusting someone is not stupid..) People asked why we hardly talked.. There's just nothing to talk about.. Talking to this person means nothing.. I'm just reciprocating.. I once thought maybe working together would mean that we can get back to last time, but it was a foolish thought.. Something that can never happen.. What is past is the past.. No point looking back..

I think I'm really setting a time to quit.. Since I've given them the schedule that I will work on next week.. I'll be a responsible person and work till next week.. You can say that I'm petty.. But from now onwards, I will not help the other stations clear their tables.. I'll just be selfish.

Had a suggestion:

Slowly clear the plates in my station, "accidentally" break a few plates and take my time to clear those plates.. Evil huh? I might consider that.. =)

Sigh.. I'm just venting my frustration here!! You can call me whiny, petty and what not.. Sue me if you want! BUT I DON'T CARE!!

PS: My Dad said that being angry at someone or people is using their faults to make myself suffer.. Chim right? But it makes sense.. I won't talk about this issue anymore.. It just makes my heart boils!

Happy New Year's Day!!

Initially I have to work till 12am last night. Thought that that was really kelian, having to count down to the year at work instead of having fun with others. However, I managed to get permission to end earlier at 11pm.

As usual, like the time i predicted that Christmas Day wouldn't be busy because of the road block, but Marche felt that it would be busy and had full staff that day. Guess what? It's wasn't that busy at all. Same for yesterday, most people weren't at Orchard area, all the party goers are at Woodlands, Siloso Beach, Esplanade or Mt Faber. Who would want to come to orchard when all the fun are not here.

The funniest thing:

me: "So are we still leading guests in? There is no queue right now."

team leader: "Yeah.. We are waiting for the late queue, because later have count down."

me: o_0?? Oh ok.. (Like who is coming here for count down?)

Not long later, they stopped leading guests. Come on! No guests to lead! I was one of the guest leader but we were queuing for the customers, not the other way round. About 15 minutes after leading guest, I asked to go back to may station. To sum up, it wasn't busy yesterday.

I felt so upset yesterday. My colleagues as usual were having their discussion(gossip), I wanted to join in, but they didn't let me into their conversation. I knew what they were talking about! Oh well.. They think that I'm an outsider.. That's just so sad for me.. Don't care lah! I tried to fit in, I think I managed for a time but then I fell out of the gang again. Maybe we just don't make suitable friends for each other.. sometimes I do not understand them at all.. Maybe I'm just jealous.. Haha.. Anyway, I think there are people who dislike me.. So who cares!

Oh enough of digression.. Back to topic..

Orchard was choatic!(But not as choatic as Christmas eve) Almost everyone was holding a spray can and I really hate those foam type! They kept spraying and I feel so soapy and sticky afterwards. Some people were really attacking the passerbys.. Those with spray can usually attacked those with spray cans.. I can see some racism too.. There were lots of indian workers and those teenagers keep spraying at them..

I actually felt the whole spraying thingy very childish.. Haha.. Most probablly because, I wasn't dress in the "can make me dirty" kind of clothes so I really didn't enjoy. The air was filled with the smell of CFC? Not too sure.. It was really pungent and my nose is very numb, when I breath through my mouth, I felt my throat burning.. Horrible feeling. For a small part, I did like the counting down.

After that I walked with Fab to City Hall to meet his friends to have supper.. The going home part was a killer.. It took us ages to grab a cab.. All the cabs available were on call.. We walked from Esplanade to City Hall to Bugis to Simlim. Finally we managed to get on one after about 1 hour.. Reached home really late, about 4. This is the first time I got home so late, this morning my Mum was angry. Sigh..

Boy! What a day to start New Year's Day.. I still have work later. That really stink my day! Anyway, Happy New Year Peeps!